Clearing out the Clutter and Feeling at Home

At the end of last month I had quite the Ah Ha moment when leaving a lecture at the Jung Center. I got clarity about the source that drives my self-negating tendancies. It was like someone came along and power washed the window of my soul letting the full light in (dramatic I know, lol). I went to visit a friend the following day and discussed it with him with tears of relief in my eyes. He’s a very accepting and non-judgmental older friend. I was moved by his genuine compassion, empathy and shared happiness as he listed to me talk. This friend who is also a massage client of mine who is very careful about what he eats, takes good care of himself physically and is rather spiritual has a problem with clutter. I know most single guys don’t have a spotless house but this was a little out of control. I know from experience that he was feeling overwhelmed by it all so simply lived as if it was just a permanent fixture in his life. Bollocks to that! After our chat he gave me a big hug and showed me a picture of a girl he has a crush on. She was super cute, I looked around his crammed apartment and said “I want to help you clean your place”. His face became alert “Really? I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately but I don’t know where to begin”.

I told him not to worry, I’d be the Capitan. So I checked my schedule the following day at work and cleared this past weekend for him. I emailed him the dates of our project and a list of cleaning supplies. After I sent my email I bumped into him at a coffee shop. He was talking about it with a friend and showed me his list “After this I’m heading to the store for supplies, I’m excited”. I was glad to see his enthusiasm but I also knew that he was nervous about it.

His apartment is adorable, unfortunately the living area was lined with shelving units all the way around full of old records, junk, nick knacks, books and misc. papers collecting dust. In one corner was a drum kit stacked to the ceiling. In the other corner was a plastic storage container full of junk. The TV was wedged between a shelf and storage boxed. In the center was his coffee table with his autumn and sofa tightly wrapped around it. His office space was full of clutter and papers with yet another tilting shelf next to the desk full of the same. The Kitchen was just as un-orderly and needed a good scrubbing. The bedroom was lined with more shelves with a bed in the middle of room and clothes, shoes, and blankets tossed all over. The bathroom was um well not a pretty sight.

So this past Saturday morning I showed up and walked in, he was eager but nervous. I could tell he didn’t know where to start and was overwhelmed imaging how we were going to do this. The truth is so was I but I kept my game face on. I decided to start in the toughest room, the living room. Step by step we got rid of what was no longer needed. He donated a truck full of stuff to goodwill and posted free shelving units to any takers on craigslist. We dusted one shelf and consolidated all the books and left over nick knacks to it. Cleaned the windows, base boards, and swept several times until finally the essentials were left. I took the sofa and autumn outside and cleaned them off then mopped. Afterward we rearranged everything and even added a new area rug. It took all day just for the living room. At the end of the evening we had a beer and hung up some art work as a final touch.

He was so excited and in disbelief. He posted the above picture of his new pad on facebook. I knew the following day and the rest of the apartment would be much easier. Yesterday morning I got the text that he was up and ready. I showed up with a mission to have it all done by the end of the night. He was pumped this time and hardly needed any direction. He tackled his office area while I concentrated on the more detail intensive bathroom and kitchen. We ate an early dinner outside, played with his dog and chatted about past loves. After dinner we went at it hardcore and worked together until finally all was left was the bedroom. It felt heavy in there. Again we got rid of a shelf, separated clothes to donate, organized and rearranged. The final touch before moping was putting on fresh linens and perfectly making the bed.

It was all done at 11pm, I congratulated him and with with a big soft smile he gave me a good hard hug. I said “See you didn’t even freak out”, he replied “Well, not yet”. He seemed so happy and amazed at his new place that was now a home instead of a storage unit. I knew that he’d take a shower in his new sparkling bathroom, climb into his nice made bed and take a sigh relief before passing out from exhaustion. It was a great experience. I compared it to therapy. In the beginning the client needs guidance but then they start taking their own initiative to make things happen. The shrink will help you and give you skills but when you’re done it’s up to you to maintain your new self. Like wise he learned to clean and organize but it will be up to him to maintain it. He might have to be realistic and hire a maid to come by twice a month to help out. Wether it’s in yourself or your apartment/house, you might have help but it’s ultimately up to you to create the home you like to be in.